My best friend died last year August. I feel very sad. i already have very friend some more she is my best friend. She know a lot of thing about me and I know a lot of thing about her. Now I dont have any best friend who I can talk to. So now I gt a lot thing I keep inside me. I don't say it. Even though I look very cheerful. I dont really trust people easily. I feel very insecure. Haha... I don't even talk about my thing to my family. Don't ask me why. Cause I also don't know.

Now I'm working in casino. I met this guy from casino. He's from China. Not bad la. Tall, character not bad and look not bad. But will my mother accept him. I don't mind go to China with him. But the problem now is what I wan to do with this relationship. Sometimes I was thinking I can't communicate with him. But not all the time. Very seldom. Now I was like is he really the one that I wan my future with. Is not that I'm racist or what. But what if my mother dont agree. What should I do? Do I really go to China with him if my mum don't agree. That's the problem. What if I regret my decision. Is not that I can't come back Singapore. He doesn't wan to stay in Singapore. The most he say he will go back China and few years later and he will come back work in Singapore 2 yrs then go back China. Who can tell me what to do. Am I really a person suitable to be in a relationship or should I stay single? He used to work in casino. At least I can meet him at work. But he was transferred back to hq. Our off day is different also. We can talk everything. The problem now is what I wan to do with this relationship and will my mum accept him. What is she doesn't accept. Then I will decide weather I will wan to go China with him anot. Will I regret my decision? Will I take a risk and just go with him? He say that the most he will stay in for another 4 yrs. by then he will go back. I say I'm fine but you have to make my min say yes. Then he say what if she don't agree. It will be the worries that i mention above. Haiz... What to do sia.. Who can tell me what to do? Confuse

Yesterday while working I feel very tired, restless it's like 活着好累. Dunno is like I too stress or what. I don't know to do what in my life or what I wan to be in the future. Times pass very fast. It's already half way throught the year. Times pass fast that how I pass each day sia. I doesn't have much friends.maybe I nt too outgoing or what. My friend is falling sick for quite sometime le. Yesterday when I'm working, I wasn't able to use the phone. But my another friended sage me that my sick friend was hospitalized. And ask me to call her parent but it was midnight already I can't call. I'm thinking she can't have anything happened nw. Otherwise I doesn't have close friends. I have other friend but nt so close friend like her.if anything happened who should I talk to. But something I won't talk to her. Actually I'm very lonely. My phone contact only have my work colleague number and a few friend number nia. There's no one cared for me . I feel like I'm all alone. Time goes by every minute . Getting older each day. I might wan to adopt a child and raise by myself. Althought it's hard but I gonna tried. I wan to liposuction bit no money hw. Who can sponsor me.

Recently I feel lonely at heart. Out of sudden sia. Feel like being loved by someone. Haha. Most guys like slims girls. I'm fat n ugly who will loved by. Even I lose a bit if weight but still gt long way to go. See he out goes

Now I'm working at sentosa. I meet a lot of people in there. My friend or which I know either have bf or they are married. My friend mum start to ask her to find a bf le. Saying that she isn't small le. What about me? I have been losing abit of weight and still losing nw. Till now I lose about 5-6kg of weight during 3 mth. Hope to lose some more. Who will like me. Plus I might not get married. There's one guy at work I think is still ok la. But I dunno about him.

So long never post something le. I leave Keppel a few mth ago. Currently working at other place. Now I'm studying diploma in integrated logistic management. Few more mth gg to graduate. Now working at other place. Last yr went to Bangkok and place a lot of stuff. Planning next yr to go Bangkok again or Taiwan. See how it goes. I hope it's Bangkok. But news to discuss with friend again. But still gt long time.

Seriously I don't like operation. Hai.. I jus take over the account not long ago. But it's like gt alot of problem. The colleague who suppose to do this account went to do other new customer so I have to take over. Now I gt new problem again. How? I hav tender my resignation letter. But my colleague ask me to stay. Cos other place might not have the same as what u working now and other things. But I tell them my pay is too low excluding pt. even if add the or is still lower other people basic pay. Yes. It's gd to stay on as the economic is getting slow. And the benefit like no bad la. But my pay is not enough. If my pay is not bad would I want to resign for the time being. I think I will stay longer awhile and decide wether I wan to go or stay. The executive say will talk to boss about my Pau. If maybe increase my pay I might stay. Sometimes I think I'm useless. Cos my communication skill is not that gd plus I never learnt enough of the customer things and other things. I think I look like a failure. Althought I get along with the colleague quite well and play around, if I really quit I think I will the colleague and the environment. Everyday ot plus basic pay not so gd. See how it goes. 30 march will be my last day of work. See how it goes. If boss really didn't say anything then no notice I take its say he approve my resignation letter. I Will miss the times that I hav in the office.